Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies...

Someone anonymously commented yesterday that they would like to see a little more controversy in the blog.  If you know me, you know that I will go twenty miles out of my way to avoid a conflict or controversy but I did come across an article that might strike up some good conversation.

Dave sent me this article a few weeks ago and I found it really interesting and have thought about it quite a bit since.  The article basically says that mothers tend to lie about their parenting styles to cover up how inadequate they feel.  It seems that most of the mothers surveyed for this article had older children because it talks about what they are cooking for their families and how much television the children are allowed to watch. 

I think the lying starts as soon as the baby is born.  I've talked to many mothers (some with babies now and some that had babies 30 years ago) and it seems that most of them idealize their experiences.  I'm not saying everyone has to be a complainer, but you also don't need to sugar coat everything either.  Parenting is not always rainbows and unicorns. It's a hard job, but it's the coolest one that I've ever had.

Someone asked me what I was cooking for dinner a couple weeks ago and I said, "I'm not cooking.  Dave is not at home and it's too hard to cook dinner without someone to watch Jack."  This person then said, "Well, I cooked many a meal with my baby on my hip."  This comment made me feel so inadequate and I quickly tried to explain myself.  I shouldn't have to explain myself.  If I don't want to deal with the stress of cooking while caring for a screaming baby all in the name of a gourmet meal, then I shouldn't be made to feel inferior for it.  I think this person forgot what it was like to have a newborn in the house (it has been quite a few decades since had children).  Yes, I know that nobody can make me feel inferior but myself, but the words of others certainly makes me reflect harshly upon myself.  It is definitely something I need to work on. 

I have another friend who was telling me that her baby was sleeping through the night (10-12 hours straight) at one week.  I later find out that at 6 months, their baby is just finally starting to sleep through the night.  What was the point of that lie?  It's not your fault if your baby doesn't sleep through the night.  Babies aren't supposed to sleep for 12 hours straight at one week.  It doesn't make you Super Mom.

We, as mothers, should be lifting each other up and encouraging each other.  Be real.  It's not a competition.  I know from all of my years working with kids, that all children develop at a different pace and there is nothing wrong with that.  Some of the most athletic people didn't start walking until they were 16 months old, but they could talk when they were 9 months old.  And some of the smartest people didn't talk until they were 2 years old but they were crawling when they were 5 months old.

I do realize that I don't really delve into all of the harsh realities of parenting in the blog, but I also understand how much the written word can be misinterpreted.  If anyone asks me something, I have no problem telling you exactly how I am dealing.  My friend Marisa and I speak very candidly about our experiences with motherhood and I am happy to have those conversations with anyone, but I am apprehensive to do so in writing.

Like the final words of the article state, "You're in competition with no-one but yourself - all you can do is the best for you and your kid."